Memories

When I was younger, when Pop was alive, I remember sometimes when we would go around we would pull up while he was mowing the grass. Grandma's neighbour does it for her now, and when I go around i always have to do a double-take because I always see him as Pop the first time I look.

I miss him so much.

I feel like I'm lonely (and I'm not looking for sympathy, just agreement on this one). I don't get to go and see my grandfather anymore, not face-to-face anyway, and most of the time I can't go to see my friends because, right now, the single ones are sick, and the couples are coupling up. I wish someone would couple with me, because I feel rejected. But I suppose it is because I am picky...

One of my friends is 'confused' because she keeps hooking up with this guy that she 'doesn't have feelings for'. Bullshit. She doesn't know what the meaning of confused is. She doesn't understand what it is like to be lied to constantly, and to be told all sorts of bullshit on a regular basis. She only knows what it is like to be handed the keys to a car, to be sent to Sydney to get ahead on subjects (but she isn't allowed to tell anyone. Ha) at university conference things. I'd love to be handed money and opportunity from all angles. She doesn't know what it is like to go without. "Respect people that are taller than you!" BULLSHIT: Respect your elders, kid!

I'm having a bit of a rant here. But what's a blog for other than rants?

I'm currently reading "My Desperate Love Diary" by Liz Rettig. Brilliant writing. But I have no idea what country it's set in! Hahaha its one of them UK countries... Maybe its in Ireland? Anyway, it's my saviour right now - the character in it is like me - friends coupled up, but she's still single. Lusting after a guy she probably can't have.

Ah well, what goes around...

I'll leave this rant where it is...

Simmy xo