I've decided that against all will and for no apparent reason I've slipped ever so slowly into a course of depression. Not the emo-I'm-going-to-kill-myself-because-I-hate-the-world depression, the depression that creeps in during the night that makes you realise that you're alone in the world and feel like no one will ever keep you warm at night. Your bed will be empty and stay empty.
And when do you do when, against all historical records of yourself, you realise, yet again, that the person you swore would never obtain your heart for the fifth, sixth or seventh time, obtains your heart, with no intention of letting you steal theirs?
Why do people pretend to be other people's friends? She's vulgar and rude and uses people. Well your 'best friend' has other best friends too! When I'm around ae you really insecure enough to literally hold on and not let go? And I swear if that mother turns up to my Schoolies she will never hear the end of it. Trust me on that.
Well its 35 days until I can legally drown my sorrows, and 36 until I can drive 10km/h faster. Shouldn't that help brighten my smile?
And shouldn't the support of people I know in following my dreams and looking for the future brighten my outlook on life? Why is this not so?
Why is it that the only time I can truly smile is when I'm around some of the people that enforce the sadness?
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Writing down what you feel is a perfect way of dealing with such issues, but talking to someone in person also helps. I am here and willing to listen. I won't try and make your situation seem better by telling you about what I have felt, but I will listen and hold you if you need it and I will be there for you. Please talk to me.
ReplyDeletei know im an hour away and havent talked much recently, but i love you.
ReplyDeletefeel free to come to newy, stay with me and chat.
xx